I haven't had much to SAY.

Not lately anyways. When I heard about the death of the man who always seemed to say what I felt or vaguely knew I would feel and then later did, I didn't have much to say. I've been pouring through Dr. Thompson's books (the ones I own) in search of catchy or witty quotes, but those are all too good to be taken out of context (I feel it is important to note that I didn't feel this way in the least about the black methodists I wrote about in my thesis). The pen-ultimate dissenting view has chosen to relent and abandon this world (Sean Cummings is still the world's foremost dissenter, often for no good reason at all. Sorry Sean if you read this). I've been wondering lately if the late Dr. Thompson couldn't face the realities of this new world we've walked into. Where the screwheads not only run the world but everything is so interconnected that there is no "living off the grid" anymore. Sure you can get a job that pays cash and not pay taxes, but then you can't borrow money or own things, so you've become the equivalent of a 16th Century Peasant. Thompson lived his life straddling the mainstream and the far reaches of the ether (some will say he drifted too far to one side or the other) and that is no longer possible. In a country just as politically polarized as it was in the 1960s with absolutely none of the beauty or idealism, it is a grim place indeed to attempt to dilleniate between the harsh realities of life and the mytho poetic hooplah used to justify it. Thompson turned double speak on its ear and thrust himself into a narrative that wanted no part of him. He left a world in which the media would take him and spin him and he would be both less threatening and lint free. I will miss the infamous Dr. Gonzo. I recommend any of you who might find yourselves in the unfortunate position of reading this, check out a goole search for Hunter S. Thompson and ignore the obituaries, his recent writing is really illuminating and I didn't sumble on it untill he was gone.
I don't agree with Amyl Nitrate as a solution to a novel or the death of the american dream, but I certainly did applaude the message. Lately it's been all about which lies are more reprehensible, who's rationalization is more dangerous. Well in the big chill Jeff Goldbloom asserts that Rationalizations are more important than sex. To his skeptical audience he then asks, "when was the last time you went a week without a rationalization?". And lost in all of this is the doomed. The wage slaves who never signed a social contract with Uncle Sam and couldn't read it if they were given the chance. Those forgotten who are allowed to convince themselves that somehow they are getting over on someone. "Har Har" the joke would seem to be on us all. The most non-linear and vague of my posts but fuck it. It's the lords day, I've just decided to let my freak flag fly.(ssssssssshhhh he thinks this is new) So mourn Dr. Thompson and "eat a peach" MOTHERFUCKERS. God I love the USA.





BUT FUCK THE SCREWHEADS. AND JESUS IF HE REALLY SUPPORTS THEM
(don't worry me and JC are like this Yo !!!!!!)

What can you do in 4 Hours in Hong Kong

In Short: Learn Chinese. I will be going to Sri Lanka. I have booked my plane fights which costs 1600 dollars and include 72 hours of travel, with a layover in Hong Kong and San Francisco. My Chinese layover is 4 hours which my travel agent assures me is enough time to leave the airport and see some of Hong Kong, I reamin a bit skeptical. My San Fran layover is like 10 hours. So if any of my faithful readers will be in the San Francisco area on April 19th, we should totally hang. ON that note if anyone has any suggestions on how to spend either layover I am all ears.
Tommorrow may well be the most important event in the annals of human history since last year's Superbowl, except this time, it's for a dynasty baby. That's right, my New England Patriots will be playing for their third title in 4 years and to claim their place among the greatest teams of all time. Very very intersting side note: with this win Bill Bellicheck will pass Vince Lombardi in playoff win percentage, leading some to conclude they will have to rename the damn trophy. For those of you unfamiliar with Vince Lombardi, he's the Dr. Dre of football coaches "he started this gansta shit, and this is the motherf***ing thanks he gets?" So I am mucho mucho amped for this clash of wills (ours being the more engorged with blood).
That last parenthetical aside leads me to a confession I've been avoiding for some time. The women on the talk shows are right, I do love my penis. This love is almost obsessive, well hell it is obsessive. Those same women would probably not be startled to find that I also mytholigize my genitals, but like the greeks, more in the vain of westerns. The junk gang was feared wherever they went. Lefty, a quick draw if ever their was one, always geting the trio into trouble. Righty, a college educated outlaw, he concocted the schemes while the final "member" busted at the seams. The leader of the junk gang was none other than blinky, a tireless desperado who was famous for ending each conflict as quickly as possible (often leaving the spectators wanting more). Together the junk gang roam the earth, looking for wrongs to right and imaginary urinal fires to fight. Looking for ladies in distress and more particularly, the particulars under their dress.
I have no idea where this post should go after that. I suppose I'll just sign off with the following, "wherever there are strippers, co-eds, punk chicks, goths,and corruptable catholic school girls, the junk gang will be there." My crotch is on a mission.
P. S. Does anybody else find it pretty sad that I'm a college graduate and not one of my posts has gone by without at least on dick joke. Well as they say, write about what you know...

I Bronzed Yesterdays' Paper

I went out to dinner last night after work and read the newspaper. By the time I got to the article on page 9 about the Chinese trying to stop selective abortions I was crying. There were only two peices of bad news in my newspaper yesterday. The last time that was the case I was 13 and dealing with the Christian Science Monitor and My Weekly Reader. Which are still two stellar publications especially the CSM. But anywho, yesterday was a good day for news because I've heard people say that more Iraqi's voted than did during our last election, then I turned off Fox News and listened to NPR. Their high estimates on NPR was 8 million out of 28 million Iraqi's voted, not more than in the US.
But here's the rub, no matter how many people voted, Bush might be right. Not about the war, or civil liberties, or abortion, certainly not god, or grammar. But about a proactive America helping to establish democracy around the world the pig fucker could be right. Except, I'm pretty sure in my Poly Sci classes I got the distinct impression that democracy had to be seized by the people, who then go to far and kill other people, who are killed by those people who kill the other people, untill the mothers and priests finally get together and say enough is enough. But maybe this whole screwed up plan will work. More likely we'll be in Syria and Iran before the end of the decade, and in twenty years Walmart will run the country or at least be the official sponsor of the House of Representatives.
There's other good news. Canada is bidding to become the only country in the world where I could fuck a man while smoking a joint. Whacky ass Canucks with their state Healthcare system. If only Canada was near the equator. Cause who the hell wants to live in a cold as fuck country where your sidewalk is often just a block of ice. Course recently the same could be said of New England and the Southeast, except weeds a crime and sodomy is still sodomy. Miraculously we still use that stupid word to mean, I believe, any interesting sexual act.
But now for what I really want to talk about. Jacko. I know I know. Pepe, we hear way too much about Wacko Jacko. Well boys and girls you're ignorant. You dont' really understand what that man has been through. He is so lucky the damn cops even came and photographed his genitals, that's how famous this man is. I take my junk out and people run for the hills, not Jacko man, celebrity is kick ass. So when Michael says he'll get off I believe him. Bush couldn't find the weapons and he's still doing ok. So Jacko can probably molest 3.6 boys before he'll go down. Or join the One Holy and apol... Catholic Church. Till next time kiddies when I do promise more dick and fart jokes. I'll be reading the paper and crying into my Turkey Club and Bass. (ale, cause a Turkey Club with Fish doesn't sound too good)It's nice to have a day of hope and good news as I stomp the terra, trying to see above the crowd of lemmings in the land of the weird.