I Bronzed Yesterdays' Paper

I went out to dinner last night after work and read the newspaper. By the time I got to the article on page 9 about the Chinese trying to stop selective abortions I was crying. There were only two peices of bad news in my newspaper yesterday. The last time that was the case I was 13 and dealing with the Christian Science Monitor and My Weekly Reader. Which are still two stellar publications especially the CSM. But anywho, yesterday was a good day for news because I've heard people say that more Iraqi's voted than did during our last election, then I turned off Fox News and listened to NPR. Their high estimates on NPR was 8 million out of 28 million Iraqi's voted, not more than in the US.
But here's the rub, no matter how many people voted, Bush might be right. Not about the war, or civil liberties, or abortion, certainly not god, or grammar. But about a proactive America helping to establish democracy around the world the pig fucker could be right. Except, I'm pretty sure in my Poly Sci classes I got the distinct impression that democracy had to be seized by the people, who then go to far and kill other people, who are killed by those people who kill the other people, untill the mothers and priests finally get together and say enough is enough. But maybe this whole screwed up plan will work. More likely we'll be in Syria and Iran before the end of the decade, and in twenty years Walmart will run the country or at least be the official sponsor of the House of Representatives.
There's other good news. Canada is bidding to become the only country in the world where I could fuck a man while smoking a joint. Whacky ass Canucks with their state Healthcare system. If only Canada was near the equator. Cause who the hell wants to live in a cold as fuck country where your sidewalk is often just a block of ice. Course recently the same could be said of New England and the Southeast, except weeds a crime and sodomy is still sodomy. Miraculously we still use that stupid word to mean, I believe, any interesting sexual act.
But now for what I really want to talk about. Jacko. I know I know. Pepe, we hear way too much about Wacko Jacko. Well boys and girls you're ignorant. You dont' really understand what that man has been through. He is so lucky the damn cops even came and photographed his genitals, that's how famous this man is. I take my junk out and people run for the hills, not Jacko man, celebrity is kick ass. So when Michael says he'll get off I believe him. Bush couldn't find the weapons and he's still doing ok. So Jacko can probably molest 3.6 boys before he'll go down. Or join the One Holy and apol... Catholic Church. Till next time kiddies when I do promise more dick and fart jokes. I'll be reading the paper and crying into my Turkey Club and Bass. (ale, cause a Turkey Club with Fish doesn't sound too good)It's nice to have a day of hope and good news as I stomp the terra, trying to see above the crowd of lemmings in the land of the weird.