Transcendental Masturbation

Yesterday Ben returned from Pennsylvania. It's good to have a compadre but oddly that's not what I want to discuss. I remember my first trip to Pennsylvania, the vania had me thinking of Dracula. I remember my first sleepless night in life, it was spent on a cot in an Econo Lodge listening to my father snore and thinking there was no way even Dracula would wake him up. I thought I heard milk curdeling screams throughout the night, I jumped and started and had no idea what to do. During those long hours I also masturbated for the first time. I discovered myself and the pleasure I could give to that reflexivly conjugated me. Thank you pennsylvania, and thank you Dracula you're still the best fantasy I've ever had.