Tuesday, July 12, 2005

London and Sandra Day and Shouldn't I be really depressed?

9/11 never really meant that much to me. My response was, "well it finally fucking happened". That a group of disillusioned people from the middle-east (where we've been installing and backing brutal dictators since the 1950s, Shah anyone?) would attack the twin penile towers of economic might and the pentagon (whose use of "terror" in rhetoric is more thana little hipocritical) didn't shock me too much. Seeing the buildings fall, watching everyone around begin to call for blood, watching my country transform under the suposition that times had changed and the world was somehow suddenly different, these had an impact but not the actual attack.
I lived in London. I love those people. They make so much more sense, say more with better word choice, apologize when the catch you on the train. They are sweet kind people who lost their thirst for empire under the deluge of hitler's v1 and v2 rockets. Those people in no way deserve to be attacked. I was at a party the other night and someone said who does deserve to be attacked like that. ready...

We did you can't profit off of 5 dollar jeans and cheap oil prices and go around dicking with other countries governments, hand a loaded gun to one groups sworn mortal enemy, sashay around the stage with a hollow moral high ground and fire high impact explosive devices from a safe distance on your boat that hit hospitals and asprin factories and not expect to piss people off. But london wasn't about that. It made me think Bush could have been right, that we are in a great intractable conflict against a group of amoral warmongers (they like us apparently fight fire with fire). So the london thing made me pretty sad. Especially as all my fellow americans who called me an unpatriotic traitor because I didn't like the perversion of the memory of the sacrifice made by my grandfather's generation to support this war. Now all those same douchie dumbfucks are saying, "wait no weapons, and our soldiers are dying, this war isn't fun let's get out." And now alone I stand yelling that if we pull out the world will see a uniquely american clusterfuck in the middle east that we just abandoned, say like when we failed to help the kurds overthrow saddam and let them get wiped out during the last war?

And Sandra Day O'Connor stepped down. Not my favorite justice by any stretch of the imaginiation, however, pro-choice and about to be replaced. This got me primarily because of the crap rhetoric we've been fed election year after election year about a republican president killing Roe v. Wade. I didn't vote for Kerry and even now I dont' wish I did. I voted for some third party wacko who didn't lie to me throughout the campaign cause I didn't hear what he said. But a federal judge in Mass is considering overturning the military's don't ask don't tell policy as unconstitutional. (you really fucking think so, I can't believe they even have to try that one). So I was even more down.

But I'm not too bummed. Because I realize all of that stuff is very important but it's all "over there". IN my life I'm happy. I'm nice to the people around me. I try to help others. And I've recently started trading haiku's with a very very awesome girl in Illinois. I think that last bits the reason why the ever downward spiral of humankind isn't dampening my day. Just to know that another person, with compatible sexual bits could like the same things and have an artistic soul ( a kind soul too I think but that's hard to get over haiku's or e-mails.) Now here's the rub, this particular lady can only be found 950 miles away in Illinois the land of Lincoln. But the connection and occasional thoughts of her (a girl with a Star Trek DS9 character name as her e-mail monicker) have brought smiles enough to stave off the depressing happenings described above. And that's better than I managed during most of college, and I would even hazard to say, better than when I was with Anna. (An eye for a an eye leaves the whole world blind, except the guy who struck first who still has one eye, and in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king.) There's no escaping logic or purpose, but for now I'm content to smile in the face of it. And to the people of London and Sri Lanka, my thoughts and prayers are with you. And to whomever had the poor sense to hit the Brits, you just lost the only english speaking country against the war (Cananda doesn't count).
Cheers