Friday, April 20, 2007

Howdy Weblog

It's just you and me tonight. I haven't updated you in so long that nobody's gonna read anymore. And if they do they'll no doubt be distracted by the teens and latinos and other such fare they can find below. Why for a bit there was a link to an assparade "blog" which at the bottom had verses from Corinthians written in sequence, (I think) but every proper noun was the word ASSPARADE, with the same presentation as well. Well boy did I ever titter.
Today is a very special day. It's the screwy modern trinity of sorts: Hitler's Birthday, The High Holiday (or 420 if you prefer), and Columbine. May 20th seems to me like one of the weirder days of the year and I thank god that massacre happened earlier in the week as opposed to today. I think that's about all I'll say regarding the goings on in Virginia as they've gotten enough coverage. Although it is important to note that something like 150 Iraqis died in a market bombing (I think it was being rebuilt from a bombing last october) on Wednesday morning, that received two minutes maybe in the hour of virginia news, on cycle. So it goes.
Kurt Vonnegut died weblog. That made me very very sad and I now think I want to read more Kurt Vonnegut. But its difficult to read anything anymore as modern media has melted my brain to the point where it spins for only 10 to 15 minutes before giving out. I can't even read most of you weblog because these posts are so damn long I just forget what I was reading.
In fact I often seem to lose track of what I was writing. Like Kurt Vonnegut, who should totally rest in peace.
Have you managed to pay child support yet Weblog? Your silence says it all. Well I should be getting back to the real world of digitized entertainment but let me just say that I love Jesus and all the little children (except the ones who are going to have kids that I'm going to have to help pay to keep alive cause their parents can't and we already have too many people anyways) and now that I come to think about it Jesus can come off pretty "oh look at me"ish sometimes too. Buddha's a smug looking son of a bitch. But basically weblog I'm ok. Not great, not dying or suicidal or impoverished (I'm broke but not impoverished). It's everybody else I'm worried about.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Kerry Healy is a Cunt

That should be good for a couple of hits. I don't think I really need to expound upon the above, anybody who's seen a campaign ad for our gubernatorial race should already be aware that Madam Healy is a uber-cunt. Almost like plato's form of cunt. Vote not a cunt on election day. I'm interested to know what people think of the ballot issue regarding selling wine in grocery stores, I guess I'm for it. I'd much rather support the sale of beer in gas stations.
But on to important things... Me. I'm living in a new place. Kind of a woodsy shack in the woods, but also on the water. Pretty kickass actually. Also, I've discovered the secret of brewing tasty as hell alcoholic cider. I don't have a steady job as such but I do work part time doing things people need done. I make almost enough to live and its incredibly liberating. I'm worried about a friend though. He recently came out to himself and is now officially (for the time being at least) gay. That whole Mathew Shephard thing scares the hell out of me. The idea of him being beaten some night ... it makes you think of all the homophobic statements you haven't challenged in your life. the future will be pretty much today I hope. And when its not, I'm pretty sure it'll be different. And there's the sooth for today. But primarily... KERRY HEALY IS A CUNT.

*Note: The author has never met Kerry Healy is is basing his views primarily on her incredibly cunty political ads. But the author is very sure that had he met her she would have ignored the people serving her food and kicked puppies all the while with a very entitled air. Cunt.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I'm ready for some advertising.

I have officially given up on politics untill after the elections. I'm going to mimick my friends and loved ones votes for local offices since they pay more attention to local politics. And I've come to realize that in any national election year, but especially during mid-term elections, I don't trust the news. maybe I'm hallucinating but I would swear its gotten even more partisan. Anywho it's time for what really makes america great ... Football. Football is the most united thing many if not most americans do. Every year in this country its gotten bigger. To the point now where people pick players from other teams and make their own team who performs according to how each of those players do respectively. It's not like, oh I'm rooting for the pats, cause I'm really rooting for the pats, peyton manning, the san diego defense and also lamont jordan who's playing against the san diego defense.
This is a much healthier hobby for bored men and women than webcam sex and I support it. But if anybody watched the NFL kickoff they may have like me, been completely mystified as to which portion of the programming was "the show" and which portions were "the ads". NFL Films clips with pop music blends into Madden 2007 shots (really well I might ad) then back into a film clip with a narrative something like "strength. dedication. The will to be champions." etc. and then a black screen and some ford truck drops from the sky. This is a level of corporate integrated media I can't cope with. More and more I'm downloading my media. The problem is without ads I feel compelled to watch an entire seasons worth of episodes in a sitting (of a good show of course).
Somehow watching the NFL kickoff weekend got me to thinking about the future of media. Intellectual property rights are a really fascinating thing. There's apparently a party in poland that seeks to abolish them. Thus did football serve as a bridge leading to deep political thought (it eventually lead to aquatic dual-sexed freedom fighters). Thus did the NFL Kickoff weekend help me put my 6 political make or break issues into perspective. My big politcal decision making issues are (and please bear in mind this is with regards to what's relevant to me and my ability for long term happiness in the country, not what's morally right, else gay marriage would be on here) campaign finance reform, censorship/intellectual property issues, a living wage, the environment, universal healthcare, and legalization (I'd take decriminialization) of marijuana. Gun control and abortion are certainly important, but it seems so simple, I have the right to both. It's like arguing against torture, it's hard to have the conversation without using the word "duh". Although you know what ladies, while there is absolutely no way in hell the government has the right to tell you what to do with your whatnots, as soon as you get on my anti-circumcision bandwagon I'll start to help you out at your abortion thing.
Why is it that when women are circumcised its a human rights violation yet men are circumcized at your local hospital. I understand the horrific effects of female circumcision. But when people make it out like its two different things I just wonder, "how many nerve endings does it take to make it a HR violation?". I mean to start with ladies have more nerve endings and better happy times, so that's not fair. But then to say that mutilating the genitalia of babies off either gender is ok is kinda fucked. I think people with faith based reasons like the jews should be grandfathered of course just like the cultural relativism of the UN, but the protestants picked this shit up because they thought it prevented masturbation (sounds kinda similar to the FGM in foreign countries I hear so much about). What the Fuck people? Can't we just have babies, unhook 'em from their moms and leave their units be? doctors need to let hermaphrodites be both genders and be the best whatever they can be. First and foremost more little kids would see hermies while playing doctor and those insipid hermaphrodite websites wouldn't be able to keep autodeducting 24.95 from my bank account. But also that's who they are and what if, just what if there is a door that protects the secret to save all mankind, and only a long foreskinned mondo labia'd hermaphrodite could open the door, what would all of you gential mutilators do then hmmmmm?

Also tune in next week as I do a long exploration into the world of fish people with both sex organs ... Mermaphrodites: The Sailor's Surprise!

- and peyton manning, reggie bush, lamont jordan, javon walker, armani toomer, antonio gates, Steven Gostkowski, and the San Diego Chargers defense. eeeehhhh.

Monday, July 31, 2006


I'm not a jew. I've known some jews. I lived with a Jew for a semester at college. His name was Alec and we both learned a great deal about ourselves, and each other. I was very offended when he refused to have a word with the higher ups about letting me in on the Zionist Conspiracy. I offered to get circumcized and he just gave me this haughty offended look. Note: he didn't deny though!
Seriously though. In watching the news and the killing and slaughter and bombing with military techonology named things like, "F-16 jets, Apache helicopter" I've been angry at the Jews. In london I talked to a good number of palestinians as part of my race relations study and they really don't have a country or a future. The lebanese it seems to me are at the mercy of Syria and Iran and their own super crazy terror group. Israel is sovereign and relatively safe and in control and they choose to deprive these people of power and water and emergency services and then they blow up UN observers and buildings of women and children and good dear god what the hell is going on? I was really really pissed at the Jews. Damn the Jews. Those Jews.
So the other night I watched Munich. First, I was struck by the balanced portrayl and general quality of the movie. Second, I was struck by how sad and beleagured Jewery was in the late 60s early 70s, which lead to them occupying the territory that pisses people off today (not entirely though). Third, I said to myself damn those crazy vindictive and effective Jews. Those are some damn scary Jews. So I guess it's not all israel's fault.
But I want them to get their own weapons. Cause when blackhawks are shooting tommohawk missles, it just feels like its us. So Israel needs to relax. The world needs to stop this crazyness like right now, but most importantly the Jews need to realize that the more of this shit they pull the less international sympathy they'll have left over in the holocaust account.

Note: for the purposes of this post Jews refers to israeli's and their expatriot sympathizers, with the exception of my college roomate. I suppose were I to refer to american jews in this post I should develop some other phrase to distinguish. I will endeavor to do this. If this post offends you or you find it simplistic or it bores you please comment. If you feel so compelled by the beauty of this post that you have to leave a comment extoling the market price of recycled paper or the good value to be found in an online degree, I'd like to take the time now to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sincere interest in my views. Also I hear several california based logging companies are looking for a strong third quarter ... but dont tell the SEC you heard it here.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Also, totally forgot to mention this, go check out

I was very sure, as I'm sure many of you are, that I saw all the humor in Marmaduke every time I read it (which was plentiful). But alas I did not see "all" the humor as Joe Mathlete showed me and continues to show me on a daily basis. My personal favorite is, "Marmaduke is laughing at his owner-lady's workout routine. She responds to her dog's mocking laughter with a sarcastic, Who's Afraid Of Virginia Wolfe-esque suggestion/putdown."

Marmaduke is truly an existenial morality play where we all learn something, even if we haven't been to college. Unlike that mickey mouse Calvin and Hobbes.

I have no plan, but I have a computer

I think I may begin posting more. Not because I want to communicate, but because I love this new laptop. Here comes the heresy, It's a mac! horror of horrors this interface is just so much fucking better to use. I can make my way around a pc pretty well. But with this computer thus far, I don't "have to make my way around". It's bizarre. as to work, I'm working. I'm going to move in the next month or so. The choices are Jersey, down the road with Colin. Or perhaps Nashville to live with my brother. I don't know what I'll do after the 8th. I fly to vegas on the 9th and have two weeks paid. right around then is when I'll have to be moving out. But damned if I know what I'll do. I just hope I don't get cable. It's wonderfully entertaining but its also just way too fucking entertaining. I think I should have to be so desperate to forget my life that I'll watch ABC or nothing. The way it is now, I just forget about my life cause Tony Soprano's life kicks way more ass. Such a sad statement to read. So for a happy note, This computer kicks super mondo wicked ass. I'm a little afraid of software/hardware and being able to use it, but for basic computer purposes, it rocks pretty hard.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Living three days at once

Temporal is the word to describe my newest preoccupation. I can't tell what today is. Is today just itself? Is it merely the sun's path across our field of view as product of our rotation, one chance removed from all others to carve out a little slice of happy pie? Lately I've been thinking about how today is largely the product of yesterday. The puke you have to clean from last night's binge, or the feelings we have to sooth from yesterday's ill temper are all defining today while being remanants of yesterday. The same is true of tommorrow. In many ways today could just be a big set up for a great time tommorrow. Finishing your biology homework so you can party hard all weekend is a use of today in service of a tommorrow. Adult life seems to stress the latter. When I was younger I was entirely convinced of the first understanding of reality. As I deal with older people their days seemed largely tainted and defined by their pasts. I really don't know.
I've met a lovely lady recently. I'm not afraid of her. She's nice and funny and wicked smart and all sorts of other adjectives that do her no justice. She's the cause for this particular train of thought. She's the sum total lately of what I want to do with my today. She's leaving soon though so likely won't figure very heavily into my tommorrows, sad thought that one. And yet she taps into all my yesterdays with regards to lesbians and confidence and what sort of person I've shown myself to be. So where then does that leave me? Here and now. Hoping that I can embrace or overcome the past as need be, that I can live in the present and make the most of it, and that god willing maybe she'll see me tommorrow. The one thing I'm completely sure of is that when in the presence of a lovely lady or similarly compelling thing, the difference between then and now melts. The quantum theory stating actions in the present can change the past seems completely plausible. When in those moments, I lose my ape conception of time moving and feel myself hurtling along along time's arc as I really am. I literally stand in the same place as the world spins around me and time "moves forward" and it's all a question of how I feel about it. But I'm pretty sure that time and the universe and the like don't give a rip how I feel. well fuck them then, cause I feel pretty good.
Side note, rip torn got drunk as hell and started a fight at the cape cod theater project, rock on you man christ you.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Expectations. You weren't expecting another post!

Yep I'm posting again. This time because I'm filled with a general feeling of wellbeing. I'm doing a real estate deal right now where I'm giving pretty well all of the commission to my client to help her buy the house she really wants. I like this. Also the family is nice and Cape Verdean and I'm starting to realize how much I don't know about other ethnic groups (i.e. how fucking awesome their food is). Also that the class of people with whom I most easily associate (educated pampered white kids) are often those with whom I have the least in common. Something about being rasied in Kentucky maybe, but simple conversations with simple people make my soul sing while sophisticated analysis of pop culture just depresses me these days. Now bear in mind old habits die hard, and I do love the pop culture of america and jokes regarding 19th century US history, but first and foremost I'm realizing I'm a person, and a low-brow one at that. I no longer want to save the world or be an important person in it, I simply hope to be a good person in the world and to engage it as it really is. Too many people think the world should be what they'd like it to be. Just as when I was 6, my father's words are so so true, "The only things that will make you truly unhappy are your own expectations of how things should happen." How true and subtle. Almost all of my unhappiness to date has flowed from my expectations. I'm only dissapointed with a result, gift, grade, paycheck, or whatever if I've set myself up the expectation of something. This could be extended to our political life in that the greater a societies expectation of entitlement, the greater its disillusion with its government. Leading me to wonder, do we believe the government is worse than it is because we expect it to do more than a should. Look who's becoming a conservative... ME! But definitely a compassionate one, or at least a really stupid real estate agent. But on sunny days when I'm working to help good people get the good homes they deserve and am not expecting myself to be prom king/Jesus Christ ... I like myself. I can look at all the choices in my life and at least understand why I did what I did and try to own that. I can look ahead at the choices I might make and the potential outcomes. But I cannot look to the future with any expectation other than I will have to work very hard and suffer through many hardships. The bitch (or rub if you prefer) lies in the fact that I've already had more priveledge and love and happiness than I'm ever likely to deserve. I don't have any bitch credits left and life isn't even half-over. WEll there are worse problems to face. (see: any news source, try something about africa)